Operation: Love Kills
by Jeaniexyz
Summary: In which Hook tries to propose to Emma 4 times but she thinks he's trying to kill her. Unapologetically fluffy.
1. Operation Swan

Another fluffy drabble. This one will probably be a 4-parter. Hook is a bit OOC here, but hey I figured people in love can act a little goofy. Enjoy.

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"Are you sure this will work kid?"

"Positive! It worked in the movie and Paige thinks it's super romantic too. And my mom loves music. It's totally perfect! She's gonna love Operation Swan!"

Killian gave Henry a doubtful look but he figured if anyone knew what Emma would love, it'd be her kid. He could not believe it had come down to this. Him, Captain Hook, the stuff of legends, the man whom thousands of women had swooned over, had to stoop to asking an 11 year old child for help. Damn the woman. Only she could reduce him to such desperation. He couldn't imagine her swooning over anything but maybe coffee.

"I'm going to head over to gramps and grandma's house, but keep me updated on the walkie talkie."

"Ok kid, commence Operation Swan, over."

Emma almost fell out of her bed when she was awakened by the most horrible racket coming from outside. "What the hell?"

_Now all I ask is for a chance to prove that I love you_

_From the first day that I saw your smiling face_

_Honey, I knew that we would be together forever_

Emma strode over to her window and yanked the curtains aside. Oh whatever creature that was warbling outside was going to get it for sure. "Shut up! People are trying to sleep around here!" Then she stuck her head further outside to get a better look at who was disturbing the peace and the shock of it made her bang her head against the window frame. "Ow!"

_I'll never break your heart_

_I'll never make you cry_

_I'd rather die than live without you_

_I'll give you all of me_

"Hook? What in bloody hell do you think you are doing?"

Killian kept strumming the guitar (which was bloody hard to do with only one hand but alas the things you would do for love) and pitched his voice even louder. He couldn't really hear what Emma was saying but any moment now he could picture her flying down the stairs to fly into his arms. And maybe even swoon.

Emma stormed downstairs, yanked the door open and stomped over to where Hook was sitting, having a grand old time interrupting her sleep. The closer she got, the worse it was. She could swear her ears were now bleeding. To get him to stop she reached out and grabbed his hand on the guitar.

Killian finally looked up and gave his lady love an ear splitting grin. "Do you love it lass?"

Emma's eyes shot up. "Love what? Your shrilling of that gawd awful sappy crap? It's enough to wake the dead! Any moment now I expect zombies rising from the ground to come after us just to get that hellish noise to stop."

"Hellish noise?" he asked in outrage and sat up straighter. "How dare you. Do you know how long it took me to memorize that song? And the guitar! I have calluses on my fingers now!"

Emma gave him a dirty look. "Serves you right. That's what you get for trying to play a prank on me. Congratulations Hook, now I'll never be able to go back to sleep. And my ears, my virgin ears, will never be able to unhear that crap."

Before he could reply they heard the sound of the sirens on the cop car driving up. "Sheriff? I can't believe it's you. We just got a noise complaint down at the station."

Emma groaned. "Grumpy, it wasn't me, it was him." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to indicate hook. "But whatever I've taken care of it, you can go back now."

"No can do Princess, gotta follow the rules, first violation is a $500 fine." He wrote out a ticket quickly and thrust it at her.

"What you've gotta be kidding me" Emma exclaimed in exasperation.

"Now Princess Sheriff, we have to set a good example right? Can't break the law just cause you're the sheriff. I mean really that noise was not of this earth. It was the most horrible…"

Now Hook stood up and strutted over to Grumpy. He had had enough of the insults. "You better take that back, shorty or I'll string you up!"

"I will not. I was only stating the truth. Why whoever sings like that in public ought to be shot."

"Why you little" and Hook swung the guitar at Grumpy. It was highly unfortunate that Emma decided to step in between them at that moment, not seeing the guitar coming.

Too late, he saw his lady love move and tried to control the swing of the guitar but it still made impact with her cute little behind and she was knocked off her feet.

"Oh bloody hell! Emma darling! Emma, can you hear me? Are you alright?" He ran over to her and scooped her onto his lap moving his hands all over her body checking for injuries.

She groaned. She wanted to curse him out but her head was spinning from when she fell over. She tried to slap his hands away but he was still frantically rubbing it up and down everywhere.

Killian paced back and forth down the hallway while Dr. Whale was checking out Emma. "Nice going Casanova, this is what I get for listening to a kid. Instead of having hot wild sex in celebration, Emma was now in the hospital probably plotting his murder in retaliation" he thought to himself.

"Captain Hook! Captain Hook!"

He groaned when he saw Henry running down the hallway waving wildly at him, with Charming and Snow right on his heels. He was intelligent enough to know what was coming so when Charming swung his right arm, he was ready for it and ducked just in time. Before ol Charming could wind up again, his wife grabbed his arm and told him to stop it.

Killian smirked. "I see who wears the pants in this relationship."

"You smug little bastard!"

"Charming, stop!"

Henry tugged on his grandpa's shirt to get his attention. "Gramps, this isn't Captain Hook's fault. It's mine. This was my idea."

Charming paused at that. "It was your idea to put your mother in the hospital?"

"What? No! Operation Swan was my idea. It was supposed to be romantic" he finished in small voice.

"Ok hold up what is Operation Swan? And what does it have to do with Emma being in the hospital?"

"Charming, now's not the time to interrogate Henry. Let's just go see Emma and work this out all later." Leading her husband away Snow turned back to give Hook the death glare, "But don't think we're finished with you."


	2. Operation Wolf

Emma was still giving him the wary look from time to time. After the disastrous Operation Swan, it took a week before she would even speak to him again. He didn't know how it all went wrong until Henry had asked him to go through what he did, step by step. The little bugger's eyes popped wide open when Hook had started singing as he did that night. "Umm maybe we should have just played the cd."

Emma for her part told him never to go near her with "teenybopper music" again whatever that meant. When he asked her what music she had liked growing up she shoved a few cds into his arms. Rage against the machine, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica. Never let it be said that Killian Jones was a dense man, because after listening to a few he was starting to form a picture of a very ansty, mad at the world teen Emma. Backstreet boys? He groaned just thinking about it. Operation Swan had to be aborted. He couldn't very well sing "I wanna fuck you like an animal" and then propose to her now could he?

So here he was on Operation Wolf, named after his new co-conspirator Ruby. He thought back to their planning conversation.

"Look Hook, you know how they say the way to a man's heart is his stomach?"

"No. That's a dumb saying. Leave it to this world to come up with something so foolish sounding. Everyone knows that a way to a man's heart lies in another part of his body."

Red gave him a look. "Don't be crude Casanova. Tell that to Emma and she'll put you in the hospital. Anyway Emma can't cook. And even if she could she probably wouldn't. You've seen her. She practically lives here at the diner or she lives off of cereal, ramen and Snow's cooking. The woman would probably starve if it wasn't for Snow. Now how romantic would it be if you cooked her a lovely meal under the candlelight. She'd be putty in your arms!"

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He finished putting the finishing touches on the last dish and went out to meet Emma. Her eyes widened a bit at his outfit. Red had taken him shopping for a new suit and apparently his lady love was liking what she was seeing. He saw her tongue peek out to lick her lips and smirked to himself. Oh yes, the swan was going to be caught tonight.

He laid the dishes out on the dining table and helped her into her seat.

"Alright Hook, what are you up to?"

He gave a little pout. "Whatever do you mean darling?"

"The flowers, the homecooked meal, the candlelight" she waved her arms over the elaborate decorations. "It'll take more than this to get back into my bed after the stunt you pulled last week buster."

"Now now darling, I just thought you'd want to share a meal with me. Do you like the flowers? It took me a long time to find them."

"What are they?"

"Hearts, my dear, Bleeding hearts to be exact."

She snorted. "You should know by now I'm anything but."

He just continued to smile at her. And lifted the cover off the first silver platter with a flourish. "This is duck heart pate. Here we have heart of palm salad. And the main course is stuffed grilled artichoke hearts."

Emma looked at the spread and she wasn't about to admit it, but she was quite impressed. Except Hook had this silly grin on his face that was kind of scaring her to be honest. He kept looking at her as if expecting her to say something. She shrugged to herself and reached over for some crackers and pate.

"Well what do you think?"

"This taste like rubber gym socks."

His smile slipped a little. Not only had she not commented on the "theme" of tonight she had insulted his hard labor! The woman was completely dense. Here he was handing her his heart on a silver platter to her and she was looking at him like he was off his rockers.

She reached for the salad after having decided the pate was inedible. "Wow Hook, now this is really good. What's in it?"

He perked up a bit at that. "Why darling it has HEART of palms in it. The dressing is peanut based and…"

"What? What did you say?" Emma started choking a bit.

"Heart of palms?"

"No after that, the dressing."

"Oh yes, the peanut dressing, it's a special recipe I found…"

Emma started spitting out the food and gasping. "My purse, where's my purse?"

"Emma, love what's wrong?"

"Oh shit, I don't have my Epi pen." And then she promptly passed out.

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"Well Hook, looks like you got her here just in time. I have to ask, are you trying to kill the lovely sheriff? Cause if you are, I suggest you be more circumspect about it or the Charmings are likely to kill you first."

Hook ignored his blathering. "Peanut allergy. Who ever heard of that?" Either the stars were cosmically lined up against him or something. But he wasn't one to give up. Ever. No matter what he was going to fight for her. Even if it killed him. Or rather at this rate, it'd be her going first.


	3. Operation Cricket

"No absolutely not. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard."

Archie stared at him affronted. "Well pardon me for pointing this out, but your other 2 plans ended with Emma in the hospital."

Hook strode menacingly towards the cricket. Well he wasn't in cricket form but still. He'd be damned if some cricket was going to lecture him on how to woo a woman.

Red held out a hand to stop him, "Calm down lover boy, he's just trying to help."

"Archie would know Emma's secrets, Captain Hook. She has to go therapy sessions with him, like I do," Henry piped up helpfully.

Archie choked at that. He would feel worse for breaking the patient/doctor confidentiality thing but since he didn't actually know any of Emma's secrets, what could it hurt? Their therapy sessions were more like nap time for Emma. No matter what he did, she would just come over every week and flop down on his couch and fall asleep within minutes. Without fail.

"I don't think Emma can deal with anymore operations, Henry." Hook told the lad gently. "And certainly not Operation Cricket," he added a dirty look at Archie.

"So what's your plan then?"

"No plans. I'm just going to throw the woman over my shoulders, and haul her off to the church."

Red snorted in disgust. "Oh yeah that will go over so well with Emma. Me Tarzan, you Jane. She just loves that."

"She'll have no choice!"

"If she doesn't shoot you first."

He ran his hand through hair in frustration. This situation was becoming intolerable. If only they were still in the other realm, he would've just kept her prisoner on his ship and the whole thing would be settled by now. And Emma. Why couldn't things ever be simple with her? He was Captain Hook damn it, she was supposed to be the one hopelessly in love with him, ready and willing to do whatever pleases him. But no, the woman was not only clueless she was content to let things stand as they were. Which was what? He didn't even know. If anyone asked her, she'd say casual lovers blithely. Not that he was complaining about that aspect but bloody hell he was starting to feel used.

He looked at the ragtag bunch assembled here, eager to help him and Emma he supposed. Lacking as they were they were the only 3 in town that wouldn't shoot him dead on sight for what he was planning.

"Bloody hell, I'll do it."

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"Alright Hook what are you up to?"

He gave her an innocent look. "Why is it everything I do, you think there's some hidden agenda?"

"Because you never do anything without a reason! Like trying to kill me for example."

He huffed at that. "Was not. How was I supposed to know you'd expire upon ingestion of peanuts? That kind of thing simply doesn't exist in our world."

"Your world. Here it's common enough."

"It's your world too, love."

"For like 1 hour when I was a newborn! That doesn't even count."

"Fine I concede, you always have to have the last word on everything!"

"That's because I'm always right and you know it. Not spill. Why did you invite me to go hiking in Vermont?"

"I thought you loved hiking? I just wanted to share the experience with you darling. And spend quality time with you during the drive here. How else would I get to know about your penchant for reckless speeding and love of raucous noise that makes one want to slit their wrists in what you call music?" Under his breath he added, "As a bonus we get away from Storybrooke's inhabitants knowing they can't even follow us if they wanted to."

She smirked at that. "Well you better be able to keep up with me on the mountain. I don't wait for anyone."

"After you saw my skills on the beanstalk?"

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"Oh Killian, isn't this gorgeous?"

"The most beautiful thing in the world," he replied, staring at her face. He didn't think he had ever seen her look so peaceful as she breathed in the air on the mountain top and took in the view of the sun setting. Ok, so maybe Archie, Henry and Red had a point after all. The exertion from the climb had worked out her usual aggression and the serenity of nature had imprinted itself on her.

He strode up behind her and encircled her within his arms, laying a kiss on her shoulder. Tipping her head back slightly against his chest, "I'm glad I'm sharing this with you."

He gulped. Here it was, the perfect moment he was waiting for. His damaged swan was finally at peace and content in his arms, finally her nature befitting her name. He was, however, not going to quote stupid love poems like Archie had suggested. But the words he wanted to say simply wouldn't come.

While he was frantically searching for something to say, she turned in his arms and reached up to smooth out his furrowed brows. "Kiss me Killian."

He smiled at that. Maybe words weren't needed after all. They were so engrossed in each other, they didn't hear the rattling nearby until it was too late.

"Ow!"

"Emma what's wrong?" That's when he saw the snake slithering away. "Hell and damnation!"

Emma's face was twisted in agony. He quickly lifted her in his arms and ran over to a rock where he sat her down and tore away her boots. Once he pushed her jeans out of the way he could see the angry bite marks near her ankle.

"This is all your fault," she moaned.

He grimaced at that remark. No comeback there. Removing his dagger from his boots, he made a small cut near the bite marks and she howled at him.

"What do you think you are doing? It's not enough that I'll die from that stupid snake, you have to cut me too so I'll bleed to death first? Speeding up the process aren't ya?"

Ignoring her ranting, he stooped down to suck the poison out of her system. Upon the feel of his mouth on her skin, Emma jerked in response. He spit out the blood and bent down to suck again, but she tugged at him.

"Killian, stop" she whispered. "This isn't going to work, and you're taking a big risk by doing this."

He ignored her and kept sucking, looking at her while he did so. She had a flashback to their early meetings when he had wrapped her wounded hand. His eyes. She was always drawn to them like a moth to a flame. And if it was the last thing in the world she saw, it'd be ok.

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OK so full disclosure, I saw the sucking out poison from a snake bite thing in a movie. But for sure it doesn't work! So don't do this at home folks! lol


	4. No operation! Just Hook in all his glory

Aha he's got her now. He made his way across the street and upstairs to her apartment. She'd been avoiding him successfully for a week after the last fiasco. He fingered the key to her place, he had stolen the original and made a copy of it without her knowledge. She'd just assumed he picked her lock every time and while he had the skill well that took longer and more effort.

Emma was sprawled out on the couch with a beer in her hand. She looked up at the sound of the door opening and once she saw his face she moaned and flopped back down to cover her face with a pillow.

"Go away Hook! I can't afford you anymore. My health insurance doesn't cover "crazy psycho lover trying to murder you." Even all that wild monkey sex isn't worth my life."

He set his face in determination and went by to kneel beside her.

"Give me your hand darling."

She looked up momentarily and blinked her at eyes at him in confusion. Whoah talk about déjà vu. She was about to snap a smart ass reply but the serious look on his face gave her pause. She's never seen him that serious before, except for when he told her about Milah.

Seeing her hesitation, he reached out and grabbed her hand and shoved something onto her finger quickly. Then he sat back on his heels in smiled in grim satisfaction. "There, it is done. You are now mine."

Still dumbfounded she glanced down at her hand to see what he had done to it and her jaws dropped in shock.

"What?" Who?" Umm? What?" she sputtered incoherently.

Now his smirk was back in full effect and he gently placed the curved part of his hook under her chin. "Much as I love your mouth and lips love, the open mouthed gape is not your most attractive look."

She gave him a withering look and pushed his arm away.

"Don't play games with me Hook. What is the meaning of this?"

"What do you think it means?"

"Hoooook!

"Emma!"

She growled at him in frustration. "What are we, five?"

She fingered the ring he had slipped on her finger. "Did you steal this?"

He gave her a smirk. "If it were anyone else love, I'd call them out for a duel for besmirching my honor. That ring rightfully belongs to you."

"It's pretty" she whispered. Blinking back tears she turned away from him to hide her face. But as usual she was an open book to him.

He gently turned her around in his arms and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Emma…"

"No don't say anything before you ruin this moment. Just shut up and kiss me."

He grinned at that, bossy as ever his Emma.

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"Get off my daughter you creep!"

Emma and Hook broke apart startled. She peered around Hook's shoulders and groaned when she saw her parents standing in the doorway. Turning her head into his shoulders and neck she mumbled, "Make them go away."

"Gladly my love. Believe me I've been waiting for this for a long time."

"Is that my ring?" Snow asked in shock at the sight of the ring Charming had given her on her daughter's finger. The fourth finger. Of her left hand.

"Is that your ring Snow?" Charming exclaimed, equally flabbergasted.

At that Emma came out of her euphoria and frowned. You know she had thought the ring looked slightly familiar. Understanding dawned on her face, "I can't believe you stole my parents' ring" she yelled at him, then whacked him upside the head for emphasis.

"Now love, I did not steal the ring."

"Oh yeah? I bet my parents have a different opinion. I suppose I should be glad you stole from my parents and not from some stranger, else I'd likely get shot by an outraged victim, just by standing next to you. I knew you were hazardous for my health! " She punched him in the arm. She was hopping mad by the end of her rant. Stupid men, and their stupid ideas. And Hook? Was the king or rather captain of stupid. He had set her up for this wonderful poignant moment and now it was ruined. She was never going to speak to him again. No that was letting him off too easy. She was going to chop off his other hand. See how well he can steal with no hands hah! Then she was going to cut off his manly parts. If she didn't want him, no one else was going to get their grubby hands on him either. Let's see how well he can smirk and flirt as a eunuch.

She tried to wrench the ring from her finger but it was stuck pretty good. As she struggled, Hook grabbed her frantic hands.

"Emma look at me. I did not steal the ring!"

She looked at him incredulously. "You…"

"Your parents said that was the family ring that has been passed down through generations and given to the first born. That's obviously you. It's your ring! I was just giving it to you." He gave her a hurt innocent look, "I could've given you any ring you wanted in the world with the biggest diamond but I thought you'd want your parents' the most. Was I wrong?"

Emma continued to stare at him dumbfounded at his self-serving logic. He was completely right that no other ring would've compared to her parents', a symbol of their true love, something from her family that would be hers, she had never had that before. It gave her a sense of rightness that would not be there with any other.

"How did you know that was my family's ring?" Charming asked angrily. "And that it was meant for our first born?"

"You eavesdropped on us!" Snow finally realized. "When? And how? And what else have you listened in on you low down rotten thief!"

"Blame it on Henry's operation obsession. Those walkie talkies sure come in handy," Hook mumbled.

Charming crossed his arms over his chest, much like Emma does when she's upset. "You still stole our ring! Any man of honor would have asked our permission for our daughter's hand first. Then asked for the ring. You did neither!"

"Would you have given your permission if I had come for it?"

"Hell no! You'd be lucky to still be breathing if you had dared. You're not good enough for our Emma."

Emma rolled her eyes at her father's proclamations. It's a good thing they were totally ignorant of her past exploits.

"Well that's exactly why I didn't bother," Hook answered indignantly. "Besides you have no say in our lives. With or without the ring, Emma's mine."

Emma thumped him in the chest for that remark. "I'm not one of your treasures you ass. I belong to no one."

He tipped her chin up so she could meet his eyes. Looking straight into her soul, "Yes you do. You are mine, from now on, for always. You belong to me." He dared her to deny it. And of course she couldn't. For her entire life, she had always wanted to belong to someone. Even if it was to the most infuriating, arrogant, narcissistic pirate, she wanted it. Badly.

Snow tapped Charming on the shoulder. "Charming, I think we should leave them to work this out for now."

"No way! I'm not leaving our daughter to that rat! There's no way I'm letting her marry him. Over my dead body!"

She harrumphed. "Does it look like they care whether or not you'll let them do anything? I don't even think they know we exist right now."

Charming continued to look stare daggers at Hook until Snow tugged him away quietly, leaving the lovebirds to continue gazing soulfully at one another.

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He had never felt such peace and satisfaction before. Running his hands up and down her soft thighs was stirring him to life yet again. Before he could continue to a more amorous destination she flipped over in his arms, placed her hand on his chest and stretched her neck to reach his ears.

"For the record, I said I love you first."

He grinned down at her. She was going somewhere with this but for the moment his brain wasn't working.

"And, love?"

"I also kissed you first."

She felt a low rumble of laughter from his chest at her statement. "Yes I remember the moment well. I believe you pushed me against the wall quite forcefully and then you pounced on poor little me."

"I also asked you out first."

"You did not!"

"Did too! It was the Thanksgiving dinner last year at my parents."

He groaned at that disaster of an evening. He still carried scars from that night. Literally. Snow had "accidentally" stabbed him with a fork when she had figured out he was groping her daughter under the dining table. "Do not remind me love. Besides that does not count. You were not sincere then, you only wanted to annoy your parents by using me. And believe me I felt so used. But what are you getting at Emma with all of this?"

She gave a wide grin and sat up to straddle him. "My point, dear fiancé is that I have all the moves. So much for Mr. Smooth Operator. "

"Oh yeah?" He grabbed her hips and flipped her over so that their positions were switched. "I'll show you my moves."


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